One of the things I dread about coming home once a year is when I have to hear comments like: “Why have you put on weight? Aren’t you doing any exercise?”, “You have gotten darker, are you out in the sun often?”, “Oh, you have lost so much weight! Haven’t you been eating well?”, “You suddenly have so many pimples on your face, are you eating a lot of oily food?”
As silly as it is to dread such petty comments, many are unaware of the extent to which it may affect a person’s self esteem and self worth. I think I am lucky to have a good level of esteem to not let these remarks leave any mark on me but can everyone brush off these statements without taking it personally? I must say that such comments have lingered in my head every now and then on a “crap day”.
After many years, I have now been back for a while, more then my usual two to three week visit. I am gradually seeing why people are so obsessed about the physical body. Everywhere around us on billboards, the television and shopping centres, it is filled with pictures of so called picture perfect women and men. I’ve lost count of the number of times people have stopped me to ask if I was interested in skin bleaching or a slimming program. What’s worse are the close people around you, family and friends, who are influenced by the media to think what is the “right” body shape and in turn go around evaluating the people around them as though they have been paid to be product advocates. It makes me wonder if people in Malaysia are striving to ensure everyone looks like a stick insect and have pale skin or if they don’t fit that image, make them feel like an outcast.
I truly hope there will be a day when people stop following the mass and start thinking for themselves. Unless extra inches or kilos are going to kill anyone, people should be let to feel happy about the way they are*. Women and men don’t need another to tell them if they have put on or lost any weight. I am sure most people are aware of their physical stature.
Don’t most of us look at the mirror everyday? And when we do, we either have a good day when we think we look pretty stunning or a bad day when we might not really feel like showing that extra bulge or a pimple to the world. But if you are constantly feeling bad about yourself, do you blame the mirror, the media, the people around you who make you think you don’t look “right” or how you perceive yourself?
People should start using themselves as a yard stick and not let weight loss obsession or fair and lovely win over them. I have this hope that one day I will be back home and no one would make any statements about my physical changes and just be happy to see me for who I am.
*By no means am I saying that people should not take care of themselves and become obese and get sunburn but there always has to be a balance.
For more info on body image and the media, please visit:
www.media-awareness.ca/english/issues/stereotyping/women_and_girls/women_beauty.cfm