Mind Matters

Many of us experienced heartfelt pain and anguish recently when viewing coverage of extreme cruelty to innocent animal victims online.

Why we ask, does this happen? What makes people do these things? Do they not have a heart and conscience?

Most people may have difficulties comprehending this scenario. However, for people who work in the mental health profession, this is something they deal with often.

Nature or nurture? Were these torturers born like this or were they exposed to extreme cruelty during their developmental years? Or both?

Most mental health professionals will recognize it as mental illness and psychopathology.
People who commit violent acts and display no remorse are deemed psychopaths.

This explanation does not make it any easier to find ways to get the nasty images of torture out of our minds but we need to find ways on how to cope.

So how does one cope? Firstly, get educated. Yes, read about the subject matter. Try to understand what kind of person is able to do this. Read follow up stories in the news and see what can be and has been done.

Whilst waiting for information, practice self-care. Yes, many of us have cried our eyes out, suffered from low mood and has felt de-motivated to do anything. But how does this help the situation? It helps no one and nothing.

Be thankful that the media has allowed for the recognition and confronting of the kitten torturer. She has apologized and her mother gave reasons for her behavior. She apparently was exposed to an abusive father in her childhood.

Fine, give her another chance. One suggestion during the interview with the media that was thought provoking was that this person obtains psychological counseling. It may mean nothing to the kittens now but it’s a start.

One can only hope that this does not happen again and that all the bad press it received will create awareness and deter it from happening again.

We can only hope to create awareness and with that maybe some change will follow.

My series on stress has somehow helped some people understand the topic better and deal with it in constructive ways. I am glad for this. Hence, I would like to explain about how you can reduce your stress levels

I start with the most important aspect of stress; how we process it in out heads. Yes, according to cognitive behavior, your thought affects your emotion and your emotions affect your behavior. How true! Have you ever had a day when you were so agitated (emotion) that you could not carry out an activity(behavior) that you had initially planned? Of course, all of us have those days. The key here is even if you one of those days, you need to know what to do to feel better.

So now we know that THOUGHT=EMOTION=BEHAVIOR. Where exactly do we need to explore and intervene? Yes, we need to intervene at THOUGHT. Have you ever heard of this line, ‘Your mind can be your best friend or it could be your worst friend, making your live a living nightmare’!

So how do we intervene? Many of us already know the answer…check our irrational thoughts. Many a time we conjure up worst case scenarios in our fertile minds, proceed to live in a nightmare and eventually drive ourselves NUTS.  How about if we take a minute, check the facts, make a list of positives and negatives, evaluate the situation, take a breather and then go back to the problem at hand? Sounds good doesn’t it?  I recommend it highly because by doing this simple yet effective exercise, you save yourself from undue stress and agitation.

Always remember…’ there will always be a way out for this too shall pass”

Everyday, we are faced with situations that test our limits, be it on the streets, at work, dealing with bureaucracy and sometimes even at home. It takes a lot of strength and commitment to stay calm.
Unfortunately, when one is having a really bad day like I have today, it takes a toll on the spirit. Now, if I, a mental health professional has this much trouble staying sane, how about others who have had no training to handle immense stress??
I have always been proud to be Malaysian and have tried my best to stay neutral when things are not right. I keep convincing myself that we are a developing nation, there are bound to be hitches. We will learn from our mistakes and make the necessary changes where its needed.
Unfortunately, this has been a story I have kept telling myself and as much as I hope things will get better, it has failed me again and again.
One may wonder what I am rambling about. Well, let me share here that my day started badly. Firstly my cable TV was disconnected, making that 3 times since September 7th. Oh yes, my credit card was duly debited but due to an oaf who works with the cable TV, my payment was credited to a non existent account. The said sum is now ‘floating’. Now I have been told to correct the situation with my credit card company who in turn tells me to fill out a ‘payment refute’ form! Ok, I say but they don’t fax me the copy of the form!!!
So I try calling the cable network numerous times, to press different numbers and to hear music for a long time as I wait for a customer service officer and after many minutes, I find myself explaining everything yet again since he/she does not have the faintest idea what I am saying. But what about my time and not to mention my phone bill? Who is responsible for this?
So this goes on about three times with three separate calls and three separate officers when I finally can’t take it anymore and lose my cool. I request to speak to the manager and if I don’t get some kind of answer soon I threaten to write in to the press. Some how, unfortunately, this seems to get some kind of positive response.
Why, I ask myself, do we need to resort to threats and sometimes aggression just to be heard? I am a consumer paying my bills on time, a responsible citizen who takes care in whatever she does, only to be treated to a heavy dose of bureaucracy from different organizations??
So where does one vent? When no one listens and pushes you off to the next person, it can make a person just lose it. Of course, when you have hit a dead end like I did, you may resort to succumbing to anger. Loss of faith in the whole system can cause one to maybe commit road rage, become verbally and physically abusive etc.
Thank god I still have the ability to use coping mechanisms to calm down and stay sane. That’s me but what about the hundreds or maybe thousands who just don’t have these coping skills? I dread to think about it.
As much as I sympathize with these people I also like to tell them to heed caution. Once damage has been done, it is usually very difficult to redeem the self.
Eat well, get enough sleep, exercise, pray if you need to, talk to someone about it and get it out of your system but do not resort to violence; to your self or to others.

Every one of us experiences stress in our daily lives. Sometime stress can be useful to us. It makes us perform better under pressure. Other times, when stress becomes out of control, it can have dire consequences to our health.
There are two kinds of stress, eustress and distress. Eustress is considered a good kind of stress. It is experienced for short periods of time ie exams, presentations, performances etc. The stress causes our body to produce certain hormones that force us to perform better.
However, when stress is prolonged over long periods over time and becomes chronic, the hormones that are constantly being released into our blood stream have long term repercussions on our physical health. These hormones triggered by the ‘fight or flight’ reaction to stress may elevate blood pressure, increase plaque build up in our arteries and damage our organs.
In order to maintain good physical and mental health, you should try your best to reduce difficult situations. Although it’s easier said than done, sometimes setting your mind to elevate the problem may be the best answer. When problems arise, try to remain calm and communicate your worries to the persons concerned. By reacting aggressively or becoming non-communicative (ignoring the situation but harboring anger), it still does the same damage to your body and mind.
In the event the stress is caused by misunderstandings or even induced by certain strong willed people in your live, assertive communication as opposed to oppositional communication is likely to be more effective in dealing with the conflict.
However,if the stress is caused by long term worry or grief, and the symptoms have exacerbated health issues, it may be time to seek professional help.

Healthy minds are essential for a healthy and productive live. In relation to this statement, we need to take care of ourselves as best as we possibly can by eating well, getting enough sleep. making sure we have physical activity with exercise, eat healthily and have sufficient fluid intake daily.
In the event there has been changes in mood, motivation, sense of worth, sleep and appetite, steps have to be taken by either consciously making some behavioral changes on your own OR talk to a professional to help you understand what is happening and to find ways to arrest the problem.
Live your life well.

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