Towards Medieval Islam
When I first heard the news of child marriages happening in Malaysia, I was shocked. I didn’t know this practice still exist in modern Malaysia. But when I heard the replies from our religious leaders, I was just dumbfounded. I just could not believe they have the cheek to defend it. A child deserves freedom to live out their childhood and definitely not pressured into sex or burdened by wife-ly duties just because some middle-aged Muslim men are pedophiles. Islam has been abused so many times to fulfill one’s perverted needs. Polygamy, and now this?
This idea that a grown man can marry a child in Islam was perhaps stemmed from the story of Muhammad s.a.w and his young wife Aishah, and thus, child marriages have been mistakenly justified as the way of the prophet. But what we all fail to acknowledge is the historical condition of medieval Arab. There were wars and poverty and many women were left widowed and children orphaned. A colleague of mine explained that children then and now are different – they were forced to grow up and mature faster because their of their socio-economic condition of that time. There were no computer games, PS2 or Barbie dolls during that time – there was only survival. And he justified the marriage between Muhammad s.a.w and Aishah as “for a specific purpose for the survival of the religion and was a commandment from Allah to the Prophet (saw). That’s why in the Qur’an it says “O Prophet”. It does not say “O you who believe” or “O mankind” or “O people of the book”.”
So who are we, mere humans, to take on the prophet’s responsibilities?
Times has changed so much, why are we still stuck in medieval Arab? Now we have institutions established to look after widows, single mothers and orphaned children. And even if the parents can’t afford bringing them up, there are adoption programs. But these institutions are sidelined – not funded well, not looked after. Instead of consenting to the marriage of under-aged girls, why can’t our religious institutions look into strengthening these institutions? Why not provide women with the necessary tools to survive, to empower them, to give them independence – not bound them to some cheap men to look after them.
My guess is fear. This fear and insecurity that men will lose their power and authority over women when we all run amok fighting for independence and rights.
When it comes to gender roles, we have to understand that roles are not static – they interact, intermingle, interchanging over time. I’m not a feminist, but I’m a realist. And the reality is that women are becoming more financially independent, they’re commanding more respect and trust and more and more women are career-driven and successful. You cannot stop this evolution. For God’s sakes, there are women Prime Ministers! Women can now bring home the bread and men can stay home and look after the children. Who says men can’t breastfeed? Google it.
I believe that men and women are made to complement each other. Many people criticize the feminist movement for demanding equality. I agree that men and women are not the same and cannot be the same; we are different biologically, physically and mentally. But these differences are there to complement each other – not overrule the other. In the most extreme cases, equality means giving women the same opportunities available to men – like driving, education, career. But generally, for people who don’t live in Iraq or Iran, equality means recognizing both the strengths and weaknesses of men and women, and work to complement each other.
An 11 year old child won’t be able to understand this. If maturity is measured by her period or how good of a cook she is at 11, then it’s illogical to marry the child off. I got my menses at 13 and I wouldn’t consider myself matured at that point. And no one should decide whether this child should marry or not but herself.
Here’s a story which illustrates that marriage consent is up to the women and most definitely not up to religious officers.
“A woman companion of the Prophet came to him and said: “My father has married me away to one of his relatives without asking my opinion. I do not wish to stay with this man as his wife.” The Prophet ordered their separation. When she realized that she was free and that she was no longer married to the man, she said to the Prophet: “I now accept what my father has done and I am marrying this man. I only did this so that women may know that it is not up to men to marry them away against their wishes.”
I may not know much about child marriages in Islam, sources have shown that it is permissible – but even so it is not a rule and if it’s no longer applicable to modern day reforms must be made. I believe Islam does respect women and women’s rights, and speaking to moderate Muslims, they too agree. It’s only these religious bigots that are giving the religion a bad name.
Agama itu suci. Setiap agama mengajar umat untuk menjadi baik berdasarkan logika agama masing-masing. Tetapi manusia selalu menggunakan alasan agama untuk kepentingan diri masing-masing. Perkahwinan kanak-kanak perempuan adalah satu tindakan bacul ‘pemain’ agama. Begitu juga dengan poligami. Suatu diskriminasi yang terhadap wanita dan kebenaran syariat yang telah diberikan. Saya setuju dengan kamu…
Terima kasih aebot. Orang-orang yang kononnya expert agama tetapi tidak meneliti sejarah dan situasi socio-ekonomi masa dahulu dan mahu orang turut kata mereka. Tetapi scholars yang lebih bijak dan berpengetahuan pula senyap…yang bersuara kena tangkap atau kena buang pulak. Masalah ini agak serius dan harus dibincang. Umat Islam sendiri kena teliti dan belajar dari non-Malaysian Muslim scholars. They provide a more holistic and relevant point of view.
tu la… kerana terlalu percaya dan takut selalu berjalan dalam terowong agama dan budaya. Sehingga tidak tahu ke mana arah terowong itu. Bukan atas landasan yang lebih terbuka sifatnya.
Eh, Amirul rupanye…heheh ingat sape la aebot tu tadi..
hahaha.. ramai tak tau amirul sebenarnya aebot…
Pls be sensitive to our muslim friends and do be more open. it is not about Islam if a muslim did a sin or is imoral, so does if he or she is not a muslim eg budhist, christian, jews etc. it is individual insanity. well we feel abit taken a back when with uncle csl scandalous video. but it is not abt chines, it was csl. if u wrote something insensitive, it is u cj, not malaysian, neither indians or d human being, but just u. better talk and write less.
Hi Mike…
I appreciate your concern. I do talk to people about these things, don’t get me wrong
And I don’t write to criticize, but I write to find discussion. I back my writing with quotes from the Quran itself, I don’t write simply…
All I’m saying is that certain practices which are generally perceived as Islamic, is not Islamic but a cultural practice. Here, I’m trying to distinguish between religion and culture. Too many times we get mistaken between the two.
If you study Islam, the teachings were not revealed in one go but subsequently. And its teachings are not static – it is relevant to the space and time of which we live in. I touched briefly on history – we have to look at the Arab historical context to understand child marriages during that day which no longer apply to this day because of other options that were not there before.
I hope I had clarified my point. Thanks for your comment, Mike!
well done sharyn. i find this article most interesting. polygamy and child marriages should be outlawed. it is all about gratifying the man. i once asked my nephew, he’s about ten then, about child marriage. he said, giving birth is gonna be difficult. a ten year old can see that already. there must be change.