by Eveline Gan
Like many of her married peers, Sharon (not her real name) had always looked forward to starting a family. Unlike them, however, making babies did not come naturally.
Desperate, Sharon and her husband turned to fertility treatment. Although she successfully conceived twice after that, both pregnancies ended in heart-wrenching miscarriages. One of the miscarriages occurred during the sixth month of her pregnancy.
“Being surrounded by friends who were popping babies every other year, I really felt inadequate,” she said.
A year and a half of infertility and two awful miscarriages later, Sharon decided to quit her stressful job in the travel industry.
It might have been a coincidence but, on Oct 18 last year, Sharon successfully delivered her healthy firstborn exactly one year to the day after she resigned from her hectic job.
“I told myself I couldn’t go on like that. Something had to be sacrificed. I enjoyed my work a lot but it was also very hectic and mentally stressful,” said Sharon, whose work required her to travel frequently.
Childless in Singapore
Sharon’s story is not unique. In Singapore, infertility affects about 10 to 15 per cent of men and women in the reproductive age group.
Experts attribute it to couples marrying and starting a family at a later age, when the quality of eggs and sperm start going downhill.
However, Dr Stephen Chew, a senior consultant at National University Hospital’s Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, noted that a stressful lifestyle and other sexual disorders like dyspareunia (painful intercourse) can also lead to fertility woes.
“Most Singaporeans tend to lead hectic lives, working long hours. This affects the frequency of sexual intercourse which in turn affects the chances of conception,” explained Dr Chew, who will be speaking on the topic this week (see box for details).
He said that as sperm can survive for five days, it is theoretically sufficient to “cover the whole week by having sexual intercourse once or twice a week”.
Don’t stress me, honey
The problem is that for many couples, having a goal in mind (make baby tonight!) can lead to performance anxiety in men.
Dr Chew candidly spoke about the “tonight-tonight syndrome”.
“It’s not a medically recognised term but sexual health specialists noticed that some men seemed to be having erection problems during their wives’ mid cycles (that’s a woman’s most fertile period). In men, stress and anxiety can affect erection,” he said.
A simple strategy would be to “just go with the flow and have regular intercourse”, advised Dr Chew. So wives, don’t tell the husband when your mid-cycle occurs or say things like “it’s now or never”.
A new study by researchers from Oxford University and the US National Institutes of Health looked at 274 healthy women aged between 18 and 40 who were trying to conceive. The findings, published in the journal Fertility And Sterility, suggested that high levels of stress may reduce a woman’s chances of conceiving during the fertile days of her monthly cycle.
Just how much stress affects conception is still a debatable issue, said Dr Chew.
He continued: “What we do know is that the body is hardwired to protect itself. It is engineered to know that if a pregnancy affects a woman’s survival, say during periods of extreme stress like in wartime or a famine, it will shut down ovulation so that the woman can’t conceive.”
The same study suggests that some couples who are trying for a baby may benefit from relaxation techniques.
Dr Chew urged couples who have been trying unsuccessfully for a year to have a baby to seek medical advice.
“If you’re having your period only once every six months, then you should seek medical attention straightaway because obviously, conceiving is going to be a problem if you ovulate so infrequently,” he said.
Excluding the loss of income, Sharon reckoned that she and her husband spent at least S$50,000 on fertility treatment. Despite the costs and emotional strain, the first-time mum cannot be happier now, enjoying her three-month-old baby’s every development milestone.
“I have gone through a difficult time trying to conceive, and have experienced two miscarriages. Now, that the baby is born, I finally feel like a woman and a mother. If I have to do it all over again, I would,” she said.
– Today Online –
– Picture taken from: Sxc.hu
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